Live His Word

Read My Guest Post

2012-02-07T22:26:00.000-08:00

Blogging over here today, feel free to go visit: Read Shauna's guest blogpost, enjoy!

with grace and thankfulness, Shauna

instead

2012-02-04T08:35:00.000-08:00

I was going to write a blog, instead I have to go write my life... hungry baby... wiggling toddlers...maybe next time...

with grace and thankfulness, Shauna

Purposefully living Fully

2012-01-31T09:16:00.000-08:00

This is always and forever my aim. Always trying to figure out how to make the most of life I've been given now. Not waiting for the next season to come and free me to be and do what it is I think will matter. But right now in this place, with this grace, and all these little chaos makers and freedom takers, enjoy. Because as I like to say, it may not get better than this. It may not materialize into my ideal situation that finally hands me the convenient ability to accomplish what I thought was important. Africa. Nope, I just may never get back there. Missionary? Just here. Maybe nowhere else. Is that acceptable? I wanted fireworks, excitement, did I mention convenience??? But life just comes and overruns and maybe it was never supposed to be anything more than receiving joyful the gifts of today, even if they do include poopy diapers etc. What if? And what if the legacy that matters was the small moments of patience and faithfulness and the legacy remembered is the small things, not the grandiose? Not the gifts given, not the big things, not the promised things, but the small daily time and care given. That I can do. So can you.

with grace and thankfulness, Shauna

Guest Blogging

2012-01-31T09:04:00.000-08:00

I will be blogging over here soon, on February 8 to be exact, stop by to read mine as well as many other blogs. Read Shauna's guest blogpost

with grace and thankfulness, Shauna

thankful

2011-12-15T12:10:00.000-08:00

with grace and thankfulness, Shauna

Soaking in the Living

2011-12-15T11:28:00.000-08:00

So, I came home with the sixth baby and panicked for about two days. Then I read this from Ann Voskamp (my favorite) "

It was free.
And ever since that free concert for kids at the symphony, this is what Malakai’s been doing: going around wildly conducting life.
A burst of hands, an exaggerated swoop, then a punctuating of thin air (the drum! the drum!).
This makes him happy. He can’t stop smiling.
He had leaned over to tell me (we were blessed seatmates because he kept dangling headfirst off the edge of the balcony — only because “Wasn’t it okay to just want to know what’s directly underneath of you?” — much to the fluster of the usher and the blushing embarrassment of his non-adventuring mother, who now held his hand quite dearly and tightly) —
He had leaned over and he’d whispered it thick and hot right into my ear there in the dark,
“I didn’t know making music was such fun.
I thought it was like… practicing the piano.”
When the strings were all playing Dvorak strong and my chest was pounding the thrumming hooves of a thousand storming skies and his little hand was sweaty in mine and the feet of hundreds of school kids pattered the floor, coming like a crest of song, a wave of time too, I looked over at him outlined in the dim light of a lifetime of memories – and I remembered her words,
“But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this.
I did not live in the moment enough.
This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three of them sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night.
I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed.
I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.”
~Anna Quindlen
The drums had crashed.
He’d flashed his grin at me and knocked me right over.
And I had crescendoed:
I want a life that makes music — not just practices the piano.
I want the moments enough to let go of the mirages. I want the now, the space that doesn’t hurry, and joy’s the only next thing. I want here with it’s doing because that means living; I don’t need to get there, with it’s getting it all done — because that’s only when it’s all over and you die.
He claps, thunder of his own, and I make a point to memorize the way this boy looks as I wake up.
That curl swirling at his right temple. How he’s still clapping, smiling, when he turns to me in the shadows and says it too loud, “Did you like it, Mom?”
The surprising raspy gravel of his voice. I nod.
His voice, that’s what I memorize. And the curve of his eyelashes. And all that light caught, glinting, in his eyes.
This… this… this…
The way to really conduct a life — the symphony of it all gloriously loud in the ears….
And I can hear it…
Our hearts in time with the moment…"

And so all the aches and pains and panic and problem of what to do, how to do, and the rush to get it all scheduled, organized and under control came into focus. And the simple thought that is ringing throughout my year... is the thankful, grateful and seeing what I have. See. Stop trying to get on to the next thing or past the if only that banishes what I really hate about life at the moment, but really God in the midst. The midst of now and this moment, and these people. It's the same for you. Whatever your season, the joys and sorrows, whatever is crashing your life, can all be a cause for thankfulness and joy and rejoicing, ungrateful steals it all away and we don't even realize what we have lost. And we have wasted away our life in frowning, misery, complaining, negative, bitter and chasing away those we love. Because really, who wants to hang around someone like that? No one. It's not about faking it. Its about finally really being thankful at the feet of the one who Gives. And trusting again that He knows, and He is God with us- Immanuel. A bit of a run on blog today, but what can you expect 2 weeks postpartum? !
with grace and thankfulness, Shauna

Issues and Humility

2011-11-29T10:30:00.000-08:00

Having issues. And there is just nothing like the peace God gives and He never gives it the same. Never the same answer, and I am always suprised, but it always comes in Him and through His word. This time the word was

"One's pride will bring him low,
but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor." Proverbs 29:23 ESV

And something about just knowing -- humility is a simple answer. But only when God speaks it to your heart and imparts the will to trust Him, then can we let go of pride. Pride we think is protecting us, but really just keeping us locked up. My favorite quote is,

"There is no problem you are having that a greater level of humility won't solve"

-Floyd McClung.

And we only get to humility when we can forget ourselves and our rights and will and plans because we throw ourselves down upon the grace of God to be held in His arms, trusting, HE cares, HE controls, HE is able and HE is. So it is OK. It is all OK. So I can be humble, like a child who trusts. no fret, no fear, no controlling offended pride, my Daddy has me, and has it all under control.

with grace and thankfulness, Shauna

Thankful revolution

2011-11-12T16:07:00.000-08:00

It is not going how I planned, this Thankful November. No, nope, not really. No special thankful crafts, no special thankful family activities, no extra thanking per se... but the result continues. Being thankful keeps me out of the pit. Being mindful of being thankful keeps the head afloat because of the reality of all the gifts and kindness of the Lord all around, like the phrase I love from my favorite song this year,

"I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He Loves Us."

There is so much garbage I could dwell on, live in or with, yet when I think of what He has done for us, for me, the goodness, the grace, the mercy that covers, I really don't have time to dwell on the rest. So Thankful November is just a choice to dig deeper to dwell in this lifestyle of perpetual thankfulness, continuously seeing the good in what life consists of because of a loving Father. Not an endless pile of busy events leading up to an overlooked holiday to gorge ourselves (Thanksgiving?), a purposeful looking for what can be accepted with thankfulness, brought to Him and trusted in Him for.
Did you notice that businesses have skipped thanksgiving? I find this interesting this year, who wants to be thankful for what we already have? If they make too big deal of that, we might not buy as much for Christmas! If we were thankful we wouldn't be on to the next big exciting thing, we might be dwelling gratefully on the abundance we have received...
Thankful is keeping me out of bitter, out of negative, out of me, me, me land. Poor pitiful me land. Out of disappointed at You God, out of all you stupid people are ruining my life land, oh there are so many lands to stay out of! Thankful is a ticket out. Thankful not in some vague general sense but straight to Jesus. Thankful is to say I trust YOU, and believe that what You give is good.. I believe. I believe YOU are good. And I am thankful.

with grace and thankfulness, Shauna

A thought

2011-11-10T08:34:00.001-08:00

You make beautiful things, You make beautiful things out of the dust, You make beautiful things, You make beautiful things out of us.
-gungor

storm before the calm

2011-11-08T16:33:00.000-08:00

Did you ever get really attacked right before God was about to answer... that seems the place I am and I find it
interesting (though miserable!) that satan wants to steal the fruit that God was trying to grow and if he can't do that, he will just discredit you with a failure of faith right before it matters most. Persevering and pressing in, getting up and repenting again, this is my story, this is my song Psalm 23 for His name's sake He restores our soul!!
with grace and thankfulness, Shauna

The source

2011-11-08T16:25:00.000-08:00

Ok so in order starting with the 1st command (of Jesus) post, here is what I am working on and the scriptures I got it from: ( sorry I couldn't figure out another way to format it!)

For Further Study - The Commands of Christ
Matthew 3:9
Matthew 4:7
Matthew 4:10
Matthew 4:17
Matthew 4:19
Matthew 5:12
Matthew 5:16
Matthew 5:23-4
Matthew 5:25
Matthew 5:27-28
Matthew 5:29-30
Matthew 5:31
Matthew 5:32
Matthew 5:33
Matthew 5:34-37
Matthew 5:38-41
Matthew 5:43
Matthew 5:44
Matthew 5:45
Matthew 5:48
Matthew 6:1
Matthew 6:2
Matthew 6:3
Matthew 6:4
Matthew 6:5
Matthew 6:6
Matthew 6:7
Matthew 6:8
Matthew 6:9
Matthew 6:10
Matthew 6:11
Matthew 6:12
Matthew 6:13
Matthew 6:16
Matthew 6:17
Matthew 6:18
Matthew 6:19
Matthew 6:20
Matthew 6:24
Matthew 6:25
Matthew 6:26
Matthew 6:31
Matthew 6:34
Matthew 7:1
Matthew 7:3
Matthew 7:4
Matthew 7:5
Matthew 7:6
Matthew 7:7
Matthew 7:12
Matthew 7:13
Matthew 7:15
Matthew 9:37
Matthew 9:38
Matthew 10:7
Matthew 10:8
Matthew 10:9
Matthew 10:10
Matthew 10:11
Matthew 10:12
Matthew 10:14
Matthew 10:16
Matthew 10:17
Matthew 10:19
Matthew 10:23
Matthew 10:26
Matthew 10:27
Matthew 10:28
Matthew 10:29
Matthew 10:30
Matthew 10:31
Matthew 11:15
Matthew 11:28
Matthew 11:29
Matthew 13:9
Matthew 13:43 .
Matthew 16:6
Matthew 16:24
Matthew 18:8
Matthew 18:9
Matthew 18:10
Matthew 18:15
Matthew 18:16
Matthew 18:17
Matthew 18:21
Matthew 18:22
Matthew 19:4
Matthew 19:5
Matthew 19:6
Matthew 19:14
Matthew 19:17
Matthew 19:19
Matthew 19:21
Matthew 20:25
Matthew 20:26
Matthew 20:27
Matthew 22:9
Matthew 22:20
Matthew 22:21
Matthew 22:37
Matthew 22:38
Matthew 22:39
Matthew 23:8
Matthew 23:9
Matthew 23:10
Matthew 23:11
Matthew 23:23
Matthew 23:26
Matthew 24:4
Matthew 24:15
Matthew 24:16
Matthew 24:17
Matthew 24:18
Matthew 24:20
Matthew 24:23
Matthew 24:26
Matthew 24:32
Matthew 24:33
Matthew 24:42
Matthew 24:43
Matthew 24:44
Matthew 25:13
Matthew 26:26
Matthew 26:27
Matthew 26:41
Matthew 28:19
Matthew 28:20
Mark 1:3
Mark 1:15
Mark 4:9
Mark 4:23
Mark 4:24
Mark 6:8
Mark 6:9
Mark 6:10
Mark 6:11
Mark 8:15
Mark 8:34
Mark 9:7
Mark 9:35
Mark 9:38
Mark 9:39
Mark 9:40
Mark 9:43
Mark 9:45
Mark 9:47
Mark 9:50
Mark 10:6
Mark 10:7
Mark 10:8
Mark 10:9
Mark 10:14
Mark 10:21
Mark 10:42
Mark 10:43
Mark 10:44
Mark 11:22
Mark 11:23
Mark 11:24
Mark 11:25
Mark 12:17
Mark 12:28
Mark 12:29
Mark 12:30
Mark 12:31
Mark 12:38
Mark 12:39
Mark 13:5
Mark 13:7
Mark 13:9
Mark 13:11
Mark 13:14
Mark 13:15
Mark 13:16
Mark 13:18
Mark 13:21
Mark 13:23
Mark 13:28
Mark 13:29
Mark 13:33
Mark 13:35
Mark 13:37
Mark 14:38
Mark 16:15
Luke 3:8
Luke 3:11
Luke 3:12
Luke 3:13
Luke 3:14
Luke 4:8
Luke 4:12
Luke 6:23
Luke 6:27
Luke 6:28
Luke 6:29
Luke 6:30
Luke 6:31
Luke 6:35
Luke 6:36
Luke 6:37
Luke 6:38
Luke 6:41
Luke 6:42
Luke 8:8
Luke 8:18
Luke 9:3
Luke 9:4
Luke 9:5
Luke 9:23
Luke 9:49
Luke 9:50
Luke 10:2
Luke 10:3
Luke 10:4
Luke 10:5
Luke 10:6
Luke 10:7
Luke 10:8
Luke 10:9
Luke 10:10
Luke 10:11
Luke 10:20
Luke 10:27
Luke 10:28
Luke 10:36
Luke 10:37
Luke 11:2
Luke 11:3
Luke 11:4
Luke 11:9
Luke 11:34
Luke 11:35
Luke 11:41
Luke 11:42
Luke 12:1
Luke 12:4
Luke 12:5
Luke 12:7
Luke 12:11
Luke 12:12
Luke 12:15
Luke 12:22
Luke 12:24
Luke 12:27
Luke 12:29
Luke 12:31
Luke 12:32
Luke 12:33
Luke 12:35
Luke 12:36
Luke 12:40
Luke 12:58
Luke 13:24
Luke 14:8
Luke 14:10
Luke 14:12
Luke 14:13
Luke 14:14
Luke 14:34
Luke 14:35
Luke 16:9
Luke 17:3
Luke 17:4
Luke 17:31
Luke 17:32
Luke 18:6
Luke 18:7
Luke 18:16
Luke 20:24
Luke 20:25
Luke 20:46
Luke 20:47
Luke 21:8
Luke 21:9
Luke 21:14
Luke 21:20
Luke 21:21
Luke 21:28
Luke 21:29
Luke 21:30
Luke 21:31
Luke 21:34
Luke 21:36
Luke 22:17
Luke 22:18
Luke 22:19
Luke 22:20
Luke 22:26
John 1:23
John 3:7
John 4:24
John 4:35
John 6:27
John 7:24
John 7:37
John 10:38
John 12:15
John 12:26
John 12:35
John 12:36
John 13:14
John 13:15
John 13:34
John 14:1
John 14:11
John 14:15
John 14:23
John 14:27
John 15:4
John 15:7
John 15:9
John 15:12
John 15:16
John 15:17
John 15:20
John 16:24
John 16:33
John 20:21
John 20:22
Acts 1:8
Revelation 2:7
Revelation 2:11
Revelation 2:17
Revelation 3:22
Revelation 18:4
Revelation 18:5
Revelation 18:20
Revelation 19:5
Revelation 19:7
Revelation 22:10
Revelation 22:11
Revelation 22:17

Hmm context, context, context

2011-11-08T16:11:00.000-08:00

My husband says something needs to be done about the first one on the list

don't resist one who is evil
At first I was like what? That's what the Bible says... then I thought for a minute... Ohhhh, you all didn't read the whole verse, that could sound like you should do evil or go along with someone who is, or... etc. etc.! So I do believe I better post the whole list of scriptures they came from! I didn't just make them up, it was after reading the scripture I paraphrased briefly the command they were stating and decided to just post them too, but if you don't know God's word, or have never read that scripture in the passage it came from, you might just end up down right confused by my lovely post! Which brings me to my zealous passion, know Gods word, read it, over and over and over. How can you know God if you don't know His whole word? How can you obey or follow Him if you do not read what He wrote to you? How can you not be deceived and led astray if you have not hidden His word in your heart? How can you make sure you are fully following Him if you have never read the whole Bible even once? What if the most important things are in the part you haven't read?? Psalm 119 read it. And for your contextual entertainment so you are not led astray or stumbled by weird ideas, here is the scripture it came from... figure it out... Matthew 5:38-41. Lots in that section and you may well summarize the idea differently! Enjoy!

His Commands 2

2011-11-07T09:59:00.001-08:00

don't resist one who is evil
give to those who beg and ask to borrow from you
love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you
be like your Father, who is good to all
be perfect as your Father is
beware of practicing your righteousness before others
don't sound a trumpet when giving to needy
give to needy in secret
give in secret
don't pray like hypocrites- to be seen
pray in secret in your room/closet
don't pray empty phrases, many words
don't pray unbelieving
pray like this-
Your kingdom God! Your will!
give us our daily bread
forgive us as we forgive those who sin against us
deliver us from evil
don't look gloomy when you fast
look normal when fasting
let your fasting be seen by the Father alone
don't lay up treasures on earth
lay up treasure in heaven
you cannot serve two masters, you will serve either God or Money
do not be anxious about your life, food, drink or clothing
seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, all else will be added

Freedom class Manual

2011-11-03T08:44:00.000-07:00

Jeff and I have been doing this study, it is radical. Satan attacked for a month intensely when we were trying to start it... worst month of our marriage? I think so. But that shows how awesome and powerful it is, highly recommend. There are a number of studies, we are doing the Freedom Manual. Radical. Props to my sister who recommended it to us.

Freedom Manual Bible study

One idea

2011-11-01T08:56:00.000-07:00

http://www.aholyexperience.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/7Gifts.pdf

This is a link with a place for writing thankfulness, I think this will be part of our thankful November.

Welcome to Thankful November

2011-11-01T08:48:00.000-07:00

No I don't know what this means yet (and since its November I better get a plan) but somehow it is going to be a whole month of thankfulness everyday. I think listing 7 things we are thankful for as a family will be a start at dinner time, besides that it may just be my own thankful journey... care to join?

thankful

2011-11-01T08:35:00.000-07:00

I've had this problem before. I lost my peace and forgot where I put it. I don't know the instant scripture to cure what I'm battling and so I give in and dwell on the thoughts, in the worry, in the control of the situation (because I can fix it right? ha) and in the relative misery that doing this produces. Well, I found a fun trick yesterday that helped. God just gives different words in season and my word endless for this year continues to be thankfulness, and that is all I could think of so I just repeated that one to God. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You are faithful, I can trust you. I do trust you. Thank you, thank you. And really no choirs sang, no angels appeared, but it maintained peace, kept me hanging on the rope, didn't fall off into despair, fear, worry, depression, anxiety, etc. Thankfulness, a force to be reckoned with...

Titus 2, oops

2011-10-14T08:49:00.000-07:00

Read something truly shocking to me the other day:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
Titus 2:3-5

Not that I had never read this before, but that I had always read the punctuation wrong. For some reason I only caught that the last phrase was connected to the statement about the word of God being reviled or blasphemed. That if I was not submissive that causes the word of God to be reviled. Check. Got that... (haha, I'm repenting) but no, I missed the fact that the punctuation connects the whole string of commands to me as a wife and mother to reviling the word of God if I don't walk in those things. Um hello? Why didn't anyone tell me this until now? I mean the fact that it is a big fat deal. And really how many women do you know who take this seriously? Yeah I mean Christians? Yeah, I mean me. Well ladies, shall we step up? Or maybe step down like our Lord,

"Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant" Philippians 2

Offended

2011-10-12T21:05:00.001-07:00

Wouldn't life be easier if I just wasn't? Offended. At all. Over anything. If love just covered over a multitude of sins and offenses and misunderstandings and miscommunications. Wouldn't it? Maybe I will work on that...

Learner

2011-10-12T21:01:00.001-07:00

Do you know what this is? It is where I process things I am learning, convicted of, challenged by etc. What does that mean? It means its written to me. It's where I keep record of true convictions, not things that I am effectively living (though that's the goal of course). I write in general terms, but I include me as part of the audience, not the one who has it dialed in. Just in case you were confused!

Can't complain

2011-10-12T10:08:00.001-07:00

Asked someone how they were the other day and they said "can't complain". It resounded true in my head. It should be our mantra, our instructions to ourselves- I can not complain. I can't. No time to waste on that. No reason good enough to resort to griping. Nothing to merit my ungratefulness being expressed. Only time to work on being thankful. That is a full time exercise so, "can't complain"!

The sacrifice of thanksgiving

2011-10-10T09:04:00.001-07:00

"give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

"The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me; to one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of God!"

Here is my contemplation this morning. On the 1st verse you always hear lame explanations of how or why we are supposed to do this, but I have never heard an explanation in light of verses all over psalms like the second verse.

What if it is a sacrifice. Giving thanks when it doesn't make sense to us? A sacrifice that is pleasing to Him and showing our faith? It would shout, "I trust You!" "I trust Your nature!" "I believe You, not what circumstances etc. Say to me right now!" Then we no longer have to trick ourselves into thinking the thankful in all circumstances has to make sense, it doesn't. It's faith. It's a sacrifice.

His commands part 1

2011-10-01T06:28:00.000-07:00

Do you know what He said, actually? Lots of things, but as I was looking at the commands of Jesus lately I realized how on a day to day basis, many I am not aware of and thus not living...so here they are from the book of Matthew (you can email Jeff if you want the list from Matthew):

don't say "we have Abraham as our Father"
you shall not put the Lord your God to the test
you shall worship the Lord, and Him only shall you serve
repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand
follow me and I will make you fishers of men
rejoice and be glad if you are persecuted
let your light shine before men
leave your gift at the altar, be reconciled to your brother, then come offer your gift
come to terms quickly with your accuser, settle before you get to court
you shall not commit adultery or look with lust in your heart
cut off anything causing sin
divorce for other than adultery causes the person to commit adultery
marrying a divorced woman (for other than adultery) causes her to commit adultery
don't take oaths, let your yes be yes and no be no

Well, that's a lot to chew on....

Hope

2011-09-21T11:18:00.000-07:00

"you can’t get to joy by making everything perfect. You can only get there by seeing in every imperfection all that’s joy.
The joy is in having the Beloved, not in loving what we have." -Ann Voskamp

A simple thought, but all profound if you've been living in opposite world. Waiting for life to be perfect again to make you happy. Waiting for people to be perfect to make you happy. Waiting for everyone and everything else to fall into place the way you wished, the way you wanted, the way it used to be... so you can be happy. And sitting in a puddle of pity and poop because that is not the way it is. Hmm. I wonder if I really believe my whole purpose and satisfaction can actually be found in Christ alone. Because when I am left with Christ alone and none of the trappings... extra joys, extra fulfillment, is He enough? If not, then I am a walking lie. And I dare not proceed until it is true. He is my joy, my crown, my exceedingly great reward. Made to love Him, know Him and be complete in Him. Now there's a pursuit.

This awakened me from slumber today HOPE.

Matters of love

2011-08-17T09:06:00.000-07:00

What matters really? A long life of faithful love. Don't we want to get there, 50 years married, faithful, grown together, inseparable one. Hasn't God given just what I need. A deep and meaningful love. But we only have that because of a hard commitment. The love is only so good because we keep working. We bleed some. We forgive a lot. And then more. And then again. We talk, we share, we struggle. But we do it together. His strong heart of passion and God-love keep him pressing on. My unwillingness to quit. He has a way, I don't think he ever actually said an unkind word to me... except maybe twice after a nap... but that's another blog! Some things just help. Some things should never be said, and some things should always be said. Words of love, can't get enough. I can't help but send him messages all day of love... some would think excess, but a continuous flow of love can't hurt anybody. I don't think. Its not who they are, its how you choose to love them that makes them who they are. Love is a transforming power, his love has held me up many a day. That husband I love. He's quite a catch.

Paths

2011-08-10T10:52:00.000-07:00

I have been contemplating paths lately. So many path verses in the Word, in Psalms and Proverbs, especially. Been realizing they represent our hearts, our lives. But more than that, the habits of lifestyle. Attitudes, actions, behaviors, and even thoughts that take us through our days. This is really significant when you look at what the path verses say:

Psalm 17:5
My steps have held fast to your paths; my feet have not slipped.
Psalm 23:3
He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness[1] for his name's sake.
[1]Or in right paths
Psalm 25:1
Teach Me Your Paths
Psalm 25:4
Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths.
Psalm 25:10
All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies.
Proverbs 1:15
my son, do not walk in the way with them; hold back your foot from their paths,
Proverbs 2:8
guarding the paths of justice and watching over the way of his saints.
Proverbs 2:13
who forsake the paths of uprightness to walk in the ways of darkness,
Proverbs 2:15
men whose paths are crooked, and who are devious in their ways.
Proverbs 2:18
for her (adulterous woman) house sinks down to death, and her paths to the departed;[1]
Proverbs 2:19
none who go to her come back, nor do they regain the paths of life.
Proverbs 2:20
So you will walk in the way of the good and keep to the paths of the righteous.
Proverbs 3:6
In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Proverbs 3:17
Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace.
Proverbs 4:11
I have taught you the way of wisdom; I have led you in the paths of uprightness.
Proverbs 5:21
For a man's ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders[1] all his paths.
[1]Or makes level
Proverbs 7:25
Let not your heart turn aside to her ways; do not stray into her paths,
Proverbs 8:20
I walk in the way of righteousness, in the paths of justice,

I'm contemplating the seriousness of where my feet go, the direction my thoughts, actions, habits, even values, are taking me every day. This sums it up well...

23 Keep your heart with all vigilance,
for from it flow the springs of life.
24 Put away from you crooked speech,
and put devious talk far from you.
25 Let your eyes look directly forward,
and your gaze be straight before you.
26 Ponder [3] the path of your feet;
then all your ways will be sure.
27 Do not swerve to the right or to the left;
turn your foot away from evil. Proverbs 4:23-27

Relinquish

2011-08-10T10:37:00.000-07:00

Relinquish. It just looks spelled wrong. Maybe I just don't like the word. Maybe. Maybe it is spelled wrong. It certainly feels wrong sometimes. I have all these plans, ideas, purposes, callings, dreams even... and it seems they are being laid down. Maybe to resurrect? Maybe to die and give life to the one's God actually wants me to have. I hope it wasn't my sin that killed them, don't like being in a place to have to wonder either. A wasteland of dreams. Enemy thinks that's funny. He won't laugh forever. Because the resurrection power has a plan and a purpose. His plans and dreams are greater, but the wondering is not easy. What are we doing? Why? This is what I never, ever wanted to do, and yet a part of it is in my heart also.... so strange... cryptic. His ways, not my ways... duh. :) I'll post more when I have some sense. Ha ha.

Put On Christ...

2011-08-01T11:58:00.001-07:00

And finally....

· Put on Christ

· renewed sprit of your mind
· true righteousness
· holiness
· likeness of God
· speak truth to your neighbor
· be angry and not sin
· labor/honest work with your hands
· share w/those in need
· words that build up/give grace
· be kind to one another
· tenderhearted
· forgive one another
· imitate God
· walk in love
· thanksgiving
· walk as children of light
· expose works of darkness
· walk as wise
· make best use of time
· understand will of the Lord
· be filled w/Spirit
· speak to one another in psalms, hymns and spiritual songs
· sing in your heart to the Lord
· give thanks always
· submit to one another
· not provoke your children to anger
· set mind on things above
· compassionate hearts
· kindness
· humility
· meekness
· patience
· bear with one another
· forgive one another
· put on love
· peace of Christ rule your heart
· word of Christ dwell in you richly
· teach and admonish one another in all wisdom
· do all in His name
· love
· joy
· peace
· patience
· kindness
· goodness
· gentleness
· self control

Put off...

2011-08-01T11:57:00.001-07:00

For Starters...

· Put off the Old Man

· deceitful desires
· former manner of life
· sensuality
· greedy to practice impurity
· put away falsehood
· letting sun go down on anger
· no longer steal
· no corrupting talk
· not grieve the spirit of God
· bitterness
· wrath
· anger
· clamor
· slander
· sexual immorality
· impurity
· covetousness
· filthiness
· foolish talk
· crude joking
· idolatry
· not drunk w/wine
· passion
· evil desire
· malice
· obscene talk
· lying

What are you wearing?

2011-07-30T20:35:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been discovering/remembering something I have known, but different aspects that work together in a much more practical way than I ever realized. These are the put on/ put off's of scripture. Found in several places but especially in Ephesians 4 and Colossians 3 this sections explains the essence of it,

"17 Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. 18 They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. 19 They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. 20 But that is not the way you learned Christ!— 21 assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, 22 to put off your old self, [5] which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness."

Realizing for every thing in scripture God asks us to not do, there is something to do in its place, usually its opposite. Because if we try to stop sinning and leave a certain behavior, as surely as we are tempted or the pressure in that area comes, we choose that default, unless we purposefully retrain ourselves by the Holy Spirit, into the Spirit filled behavior that replaces it. If we leave a void or a vacuum without replacing with the truth or the right obedient response, we will just continue in our old sinful ways. Next time I will share a large list of put offs and then the put on's God provides us with.

Doesn't stick

2011-07-18T09:25:00.000-07:00

I met someone recently and something about them just seemed so sweet and unusual. It intrigued me because I recognized it and remembered even having it, and yet I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was. Its the kind of person that nothing offends, you can hurt them, sure, but it won't stick, they easily forgive. The kind of person that doesn't retaliate, doesn't speak unkind words, doesn't act out in anger or impatience or with any of the usual attitudes of human temperament that we so often justify. Really very rare. So I was thinking, that is how I want to be, but I seem to have all these chinks in my armor, all these areas the enemy can really set me off, a problem with this, an insecurity with that, all these ways... that people know.... oh, don't say that to her- this will happen. I can be pegged for bad behavior in certain areas. And then it dawned on me what that attribute was. Humility. It has been said you can't offend a dead person. Can't make him angry, can't hurt his feelings, can't get a ride out of him by a well placed insult. Dead to myself, humble. Laid low at the feet of Jesus, nothing can get you there. One of my favorite (or not so) sayings is "there is no problem you are having that a greater level of humility will not solve." Oh my but how humbling it can be to acknowledge and recognize pride, it has so many ugly faces! So much to ponder.... So much to repent of!

Rude Awakening

2011-07-17T15:35:00.000-07:00

Did you ever wake up one day to realize God is letting everything you do fail because you are relying on yourself? I am contemplating if that might not be the case for me right now. All things in my life seem to be shaken to find what is built out of what lasts. Looks like some rebuilding and re-purposing is in order. Did you ever just feel to broken and weak to even face it? That is a rude awakening, all the things I have thought I am or was or even could be being re-ordered and leveled. Rude awakening I say. I just don't want to talk about it, being vulnerable is retarded. Maybe I'll feel better next month!

Pressing On

2011-07-17T15:31:00.000-07:00

Not much to say these days, just a walk in the desert, maybe some waves washing over my boat adrift in the ocean, but there is a stream in the desert and I keep drinking. And Jesus is in the boat and He is enough. The battle is raging and I am very weary. Do pray I will press on. Legacy and purpose keep me thinking, what will I leave, what am I sowing... and humility keeps me challenged, to let it all go, be one that lays in the dirt at the feet of Jesus, what offense can find me there? If I could just crawl under that Rock and stay there in Him. The hiding place, and sometimes I can't seem to get there... but I press on.

Smile

2011-06-02T18:38:00.000-07:00

A princess

Crazy guy

The Man!

Practicing thankful this week

2011-06-02T18:32:00.000-07:00

my super thoughtful parents
marvelous husband Jeff, what a man!
bacon and waffles for dinner
playgrounds for boundless energy, what an insane blessing
trees and grass beauty all around
even cool weather because I know I'll miss it soon!
Jeff going on a run with Noah
two cute babies that have red hair and make the funniest faces
fun garden growing like wild
growing and healing in relationship
great encouraging books
funny sister painting her door lovely red
princess daughter cutting her own hair, but fixing it cute
zayd saying the funniest sayings
Noah saying he loves me all on his own initiative
finally having peace with decisions
finding things to eat when starving
a place to live
food to eat
help cleaning
shining glorious sun breaking through long today!
real breakthrough that I have been praying for long
potentially exciting ideas that encourage our hope
faithful God, not letting go

Racing Clouds

2011-06-02T18:13:00.000-07:00

Here is the thought. I just read it in my journal from a few years back, " its about the King, not the kingdom". How much I am a flailing falling oozing humanity just trying to make sense of anything, and here after a lot of rainy days of cold and fog and clouds, the sun is peeking through. I was driving home today racing clouds, I was in the shadows, and ahead I could see the sun, I decided to go faster and get to the sun, hang out in the warmth. Hide from the shadows and cold. There have been many problems and exceedingly immobilizing decisions to make lately, things that I really had no answer for, no understanding about what would be the right thing to do. It was so stunning. I have been paralyzed in anxiety for several weeks, but slowly grace is falling on all of them, and the warm sun is drying up my rain. I have to give up some of my own hopes and dreams and accept some of His instead. I feel better. He is a better dreamer for me than I am. And even in the place of giving up some things, others are gained. His ways are not my ways, His ways are MUCH better. I guess when He is the goal and He is all, then everything is fine again. So to find rest, run to the Son. :)

Thoughts

2011-05-28T15:08:00.000-07:00

³⁰Don't grieve God. Don't break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don't take such a gift for granted.
^31-32Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.
-the message

Letter to a friend

2011-05-14T21:29:00.000-07:00

Have you ever stopped to ponder the footprints of your life? The majesty and the agony? The ripple effects? Don't you know, "For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself." Romans 14:7 Everything you do has affected someone else. And will continue to.

The life you live, the person you are, you matter. Let it sink in. Deep into your heart, and realize, the life you have lived is entwined with thousands of others. You cannot fathom the effects you have left by living for Christ, discipling and, pouring out His life through yours upon others. Speaking out his words to the Sunday school kids, the everyday school kids, the friends, the co-workers, the school mates, the family, the acquaintances and the multitude of others whose lives have been interlaced with yours has the eternal impact you cannot grasp.

You have lived broad, you have touched many, your life has spoken deeply, and therefore, what you do now and until you breath your last will continue to give life to those who have known you. They have watched, they have seen, they have seen the struggle, but they have seen the real God. Living. In you.

Calculate the magnitude... those who have watched you claim Christ, name Christ, deeply long for and seek after Him. How many are there? Thousands and thousands, over a lifetime, already you have accumulated as much... and what if you turn back now? What if? What of them? You have seen it, you have been crushed by that blow, as have I. Watching near, the broken lives, the aftermath, the fallout... its reaches know no bounds, and it is still reaching. The fallout seems to never end.

Are you going to be one that gives it to us? The broken heart that feels the destruction years on end for choices. You know that is not who you are. You know you are His. Chosen, called, beloved.

Beloved.

The satisfaction and peace and real intimacy will never be found outside of Christ and the gifts He gives. The counterfeit will always choke, always diminish, always shame. And the life will leave you and you will never be the same. And neither will we. Think of the loss, yours and ours and stand fast, steadfast, keep to the anchor. Hide in the Rock. He can keep you in the storm.

2 Corinthians 2:4
For I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you.

Galatians 6:7-9
7 Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. 8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. 9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do
not give up.

A reminder

2011-05-14T20:16:00.000-07:00

^{Isaiah 40:27-31}

^27-31Why would you ever complain, O Jacob,
   or, whine, Israel, saying,
"God has lost track of me.
   He doesn't care what happens to me"?
Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?
God doesn't come and go. God lasts.
   He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath.
   And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired,
   gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
   young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
   They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don't get tired,
   they walk and don't lag behind.

The Message

Hidden Joy

2011-05-14T20:01:00.000-07:00

Little treasures

Hidden surprise by the pond

Thankful

2011-05-11T17:28:00.000-07:00

Thankful post-
Thankful for:

jumping joy of trampoline!
swinging joy on swingset
sweet, kind, patient husband
fun aunty playing with kids
feeling sick- it's a good sign
babies getting molars but being great!
food!!
purse key finder haha
mother's day sweetness
red haired babies
new doctor
clean kitchen
laundry sorted
school room organizing
fun science day with Noah
books
amazing grace
Luther movie
a million other things ... but babies are starting to push computer buttons! the end!
my Dad keeps bringing me food!

One who loves

2011-05-11T17:04:00.000-07:00

Sin crouching at the door, beating down the door. Taking its many forms, offering the easy way out... but its a lie. Facing uncomfortable things in life lately. Stretching, ripping and bending me. Will I bend or break. Those around me watch and wait, what is real, what matters? Does this God thing really make a difference? Is He really near to those who call on Him, who call on Him in truth? And I fall. But I have one who picks me up and speaks truth loud in my deaf ears. I have a friend. He speaks it loud to me over and over as many times as it takes until I stop repeating the lies. That is a friend. That is love. One who loves doesn't take on board the offense, but keeps eyes to the truth, lips to the truth, speaking of kindness, life and living Word. That makes the difference. I get up. I press on. I know God has not left me here alone. I am just Mary in the garden, they have taken away my Lord and I don't know where they have put Him, but then He is there! Mary! He wasn't really gone, He was right there. Found again.

Looking for real Easter

2011-04-22T18:35:00.000-07:00

Not up for a show, not interested in fluff and entertainment, but really what would make Easter meaningful? Something real. Something Jesus. Little less candy, little more giving. Something really real. The church being the church instead of just going. Not a perfect meal, a real reflection. If it was going to be about Jesus maybe it should be spent on Him. Wonder what He would want me to do for Easter? Get eye-level with Him and spend myself for Him. Maybe it should be like every other day should be, spent on Him, in His strength, for His glory. Some how holiday seems to get in the way. A distraction. The regular days are easier to focus on Him, but activity "about" Him sometimes misplaces Him. Well, I'm in a quandary. What to do, what to do? We'll see, I'll let you know how it turns out.

Mundane Sacrifices matter

2011-04-16T20:50:00.000-07:00

Some interesting things I am encountering. American "Christian" values. We still, even as believers, do not deeply value motherhood, fatherhood, or family. Why? I think because we do not like/believe in sacrifice (except romantically as long as we don't have to do it) and we still want to do what we want to do. So we exalt choice. We exalt freedom. We exalt selfishness. I am wondering a lot these days because I am encountering it within myself and the realm that encounters me. I make people uncomfortable. Because I have so many kids. I mean, people with 6 kids used to make me afraid too, because I could never handle that and really, who wants to lose that much of their freedom-life! But really what is it? I am giving up my life (in a way) so that they might have life. I am spending mine cooking, cleaning, feeding, teaching, training, repeating, so they can have a life. I am in a deep sense getting to be like Jesus. All Jesus did was give, and get back nothing. Giving always, loving always and those He came to did not recognize Him. Embracing sacrifice, embracing the suffering in the mundane and serving 6 small people is becoming more profound than all of the world traveling radical mission evangelism I could ever do. Not that traveling radical missions isn't transforming (I'm just jealous) but that God has not given me less or a less radical calling that those in "ministry" by discipling and loving and serving my very own blessings He has bestowed me with. Sometimes it is realizing we are not blessed with life until we are willing to die and lay down all our own plans and desires. And receive all He gives us as the blessing it is accomplishing His purposes in us. Godliness with contentment is great gain.

A Thought

2011-04-16T20:33:00.000-07:00

"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. ... It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious — the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. ... Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies."

~ Philippians chapter four

Precious in His Eyes

2011-04-12T09:20:00.000-07:00

Isaiah 43:4 Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored and I love you...
This is what I continue to fail to grasp. And in my very "Christian" -read religious- way I put on my rituals and walk out the door. And if I forget to put them on I must be naked, unloved. Because though we speak grace and we speak not by works... we often live by law. We live like we earn His love. We live like it really is based on our performance after all. And so I am trying to grasp this... or let go of it. That God of heaven loves. Me. That is why I can then love and why I do what HE desires. That is why. But in the essence it gets all mixed up the obedience and the motivation. Why do I do it, does He really love when I am so wicked? Certainly not, no one else does. But it is true. He does love. And some how that empowers obedience, and because it is motivated in love, it is not works, because I do not earn, I love. And then there is the other side of the coin... I cannot love, I cannot obey! Why cannot I do the thing I try to do, change myself, act right, act love, act grace and forgive? Because again I think it depends on my strength and that is all I strive with. I do not come, I do not yield and say, "Lord, I can not, You help". I just try over and over on my own. Trying to please but not abiding, not relying, not dying and living His life in me. And I am surprised. How foolish. Surprised when once again I can do nothing on my own. Here is the living truth, abiding and being loved will flow out all the fruit and obedience He desires. Living out of His love. My prayer.

All is Grace

2011-03-29T14:13:00.000-07:00

My favorite quote for the week,

All is grace, if the knee’s surrendered.
All is grace, if the eyes see and believe.
All is grace, if the heart receives all with gratitude, trusting the goodness of God.
And when all is grace, God working all things to certain good,
it’s our hands that rise in thanks,
open and willingly to fully receive…"
- Ann Voskamp

I love this and it is deeply poignant in my week. Gloriously true. All is grace when you trust the One who gives it. Faith is believing He is so good and what He gives is good. Lovely.

Living Fear

2011-03-25T12:13:00.000-07:00

This world appears to be a fearful place. A depressing place in many ways. When you watch the news, you hear loved one's struggles, and you are surrounded on all sides by difficulties, how can we help but live in fear? Live in despair. I had a lovely answer to that this week.

Psalm 62:5-8

5 For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
6 He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
7 On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God.

8 Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us. Selah

Hope in this life comes from God alone.

Psalm 121:1-4

I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
4 Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

I can be still in the raging all around me because the Lord is my refuge. I have no need to panic because all the days of my life are written in His book. My times are in His hand. He is a refuge. But in the midst, how to stay calm? I lift up my eyes... We are often swept away with fear, worry, discouragement, etc. when are eyes focus on the people, the circumstance, the disaster. Hope and help come from fixing my eyes on the One who is over it all. And giving thanks to Him. Thankful, trusting, rejoicing.

Psalm 9:1

I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart;
I will recount all of your wonderful deeds.

I stay in peace when I stay abiding in Him and believing what HE says is true about my life and situation. And then thanking Him for it. Hiding in Him, and keeping my heart quiet before Him in the midst of the storm. He can be trusted.

Thanks Matters

2011-03-13T11:53:00.000-07:00

Romans 1:21-

21 For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened.

I always thought this was someone else. You know, those Romans 1 people!!!! The bad ones! Well, maybe however, I was a little shocked on my quest to study out thankful to find this. The initial problem was not that they didn't know God. They did. But they didn't honor Him as God. And...They. Weren't. Thankful.

Did you even think that not being thankful can make you futile in your thinking and cause you to have a foolish dark heart? Honoring Him as God has a lot to do with it too, but hand in hand with unthankful.

Here's one too...

Philippians 2:14-16

14 Do all things without grumbling or questioning (complaining), 15 that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, 16 holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.

It seems grumbling and complaining are the unthankfulness oozing out. That's too easy. So it would seem thankful would be the heart to foster that leads to blameless and innocence shining the light of Jesus in this dark world. I mean how many people do you know who walk thankful? Stand out don't they.

This all just has me aghast at my blindness and the simplicity of a changed life. Shocking thankfulness.

I have often overlooked the word. Its to boring. Too vague. To unlived in my life. But I remember it was a deep hallmark of the time when Jesus saved me radically and life changingly. Thankful, so grateful to be saved, to have Him. To have anything! All really was grace (as Ann Voskamp puts it) and I saw and knew it. Losing sight of the grace makes one unthankful. And makes my life small and miserable. But it's all in perspective. Looking for and giving thanks for all the grace.

Whispers of Love

2011-03-13T11:36:00.000-07:00

A grateful treasure

2011-03-13T11:03:00.000-07:00

Endless thoughts of thankfulness and such a mystery unfolding are swirling my head these days. Thankfulness-grateful; impressed with a sense of kindness received, and ready to acknowledge it. I am being kindly endowed with sight to see the blessings endlessly flowing over my life. Only a few months ago my life seemed to swirl endlessly with discouragement and despair. What has changed, me. My life is the same one and nothing has changed. Only what I see. What I am choosing to see. And where I thought I lost God I am finding He has been right there all along. What a mystery! I had been having this problem with EVE vision. See, in the garden Eve started having eye problems, you can tell by what she says when the serpent asks her,

"“Did God actually say, ‘You [1] shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” 2 And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, 3 but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’” Genesis 3:1-3

This is what God actually said,

29 And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. 30 And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so. 31 And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. Genesis 1:29-31

And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, 17 but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat [4] of it you shall surely die.” (bold mine) Genesis 2:16-17

A million things have been said about this passage, but the one thing that stood out to me this time was the emphasis. God's vs. Eve's. God gives. He gives everything, read it, "every plant... on the face of all the earth..." and "you MAY surely eat of it". He gives and He gives willingly, freely, and abundantly. And He makes note of one thing not given. Forbidden. But Eve's attention is now drawn to only what is not given. That God is withholding. God is not giving, and satan's lie that the thing not given is something I need, God can not be trusted to give all I need.

Now, I don't really want to go on about this, some of these thoughts were presented to me in a sermon at church on Genesis 1-3 and some were from Ann Voskamps book, and they seamlessly flowed together to create my own thoughts in realizing the same thing. The focus on what is not given is where I start to spiral down. Returning to thankfulness and a grateful heart in the place that I am, with the life I have been given is my way out. Thankful, thankful, thankful. Its like finding a key that had been lost to trunk full of glorious treasures that you knew were in there but didn't know how to get out. I am dusting off the treasures and finding some old joy in new places.

Molokai

2011-03-05T16:23:00.000-08:00

So we watched a movie the other night. It was called "Molokai" and it was about a man named Father Damien who served a leper colony on the Hawaiian island of Molokai. It was amazing. A man who loved people. He simply went, without fear, without reservation. Sweet and simple. He went. They told him not to touch anyone, but immediately he offered a hand, a hug, and gave basically his life for them. No regard for his own life or safety. Giving what the broken and lonely, rejected and outcast needed. Touch and love. At his own expense. And when asked he would tell people, "God will protect me as long as He needs me".

Then he was required to make a choice to return to the main island, or to go back to Molokai and stay the rest of his life without leaving because of the quarantine. He chose to stay. That is the bold faced, shocking sacrifice that arrested me; he had already given of himself, put himself at risk, went where no one else wanted to go, and then he willingly gives up everything else. Banishment, never allowed to enter society again, no comforts or personal pleasures of the world he left, and no regrets. You see he was so consumed with loving others and caring for their needs, he took no thought for himself.

Really only God can enable you to love like that. Give up everything for the least of these? My comfort? My freedom? Me, me, me? Lay down my rights? Love, serve, die?? And die, he did. He did eventually get leprosy and died a gruesome death. But not before his prayers were answered and God sent others to continue his work. Perfect and simple timing. A life completely in God's hands never ends unfinished.

So we can die daily. His freedom was in his complete surrender. Not what he wanted, but what God wanted. I marvel. Because my life is not so dramatic, but I have the same choice. "... But when Christ is at the center, when dishes, laundry, work is my song of thanks to Him, joy rains.Passionately serving Christ alone makes us the loving servant to all. when the eyes of the heart focus on God, and the hands on always washing the feet of Jesus alone...The work becomes worship, a liturgy of thankfulness." Just one glorious quote from Ann Voskamp's book rich with meaning. And I think, I am only called to a small sacrifice in comparison, and yet I resist, a humbling thought to ponder. But a simple answer to live, surrender and find your life. Lose your life to keep it. And gain so much more.

I insanely love this book

2011-02-25T15:58:00.000-08:00

Maybe because I so relate to her life... 6 kids, oh I only have 5, seems like 6... anyway! Here is the title, "One Thousand Gifts" of course I love it, gifts are my love language, thoughtful ones anyway, oh and the meaning of the title... a dare to live fully right where you are. Oh. my. The thought alone is the essence of the struggle of my daily life, content, discontent, content, ragingly and maddeningly longing for something??? Lost sanity... yes that is it. But, God GAVE this life? Shouldn't I be able to live fully in it? What He has given? Should I have to be desperately longing for another season where I can find Him? No, no, no. But HOW? I recently asked every mom I know with 4 kids or more, HOW?? What did you do? How? Did you find God in the midst of this messy beautiful meaningful madness? This book all about it, and yet so much more. So deeply real, not trite. WOW. I love it. Here is a quote, " You would be very ashamed if you knew what the experiences you call setbacks, upheavals, pointless disturbances, and tedious annoyances really are. You would realize that your complaints about them are nothing more nor less than blasphemies-- though that never occurs to you. Nothing happens to you except by the will of God, and yet (God's ) beloved children curse it because they do not know what it is." a quote from Caussade that she read and shares on p. 125. And my the beauty. Her premise begins with learning the discipline of thankfulness and she started with a challenge from a friend to write down one thousand gifts. One thousand things that she was grateful, thankful for. And her growing in it. So interesting. And yet the thankfulness in small things given by Jesus is a transforming power. I am inclined to experiment with this.... you must read the book!!!!!!!!!!!

A list of thankfulness

2011-02-24T12:10:00.000-08:00

small dirty children who bubble exuberantly and incessantly
blooming trees
wind blowing trees and bushes
oh just trees!
green things (as in growing)
sweet husband with kind words always
cozy school room with buzzing children
clean kitchen floors and other clean areas from God's gracious provision of amazing friend help
small snuggly boy hugs
sparkly red bulletin borders
curly red hair babies!

Legacy

2011-02-21T16:19:00.000-08:00

Lately thinking of the legacy. Proverbs 10:7 "The memory of the righteous is a blessing,
but the name of the wicked will rot." More and more I understand what a vapor life is, and then in the living of the dailyness of life, I realize, this is life. This is likely all it will ever be, the daily choices, words, attitudes and thoughts and actions that make up who I am. All added together, who am I? What legacy do I leave those around me and my children? Beauty or anguish? Peace or regret? I can't control the legacy others leave or have left me, but I control what I leave, by the daily life I lead. I think with the end in mind. Who do I want my children to say I was? How do I hope they will describe me? What can others say of my life? Will the way I am living now please Jesus this minute, will He say "well done good and faithful servant" when I am there before Him?
I have seen the legacy of both types of lives. One really leaves their name rotting in the lives of those they left, and the other leaves so many blessings that they imparted over a lifetime. A song by Sara Groves says well, "generations will reap what I sow, I can pass on a curse or a blessing to those I may never know". It comes back to the dailyness of walking with Jesus, the everyday pursuit. There is no hope to leave behind any blessing where I have been if I am not full of Him. For some reason it sounds trite today, but sometimes the simple answers are really the things we know so well, and don't really do. Its been a week of trying to re-prioritize to make life in the everyday a peaceful awakening to finding Jesus in the moments, finding joy in the normal and delight in the disruption... a journey with purpose, aiming at Jesus I should have fewer regrets!

The fragments

2011-02-01T08:33:00.000-08:00

That is definitely all I have to give. Did you ever get out beyond the end of yourself? I have never stretched so thin in all my life. And I am grasping to find God's grace when there is literally nothing left, and 5 extremely needy people grabbing for all I have with no let up. What is it to find strength and go on when you have nothing to give. When you have no presence of mind left to think, pray or do anything constructive, when your brain is so mush you just can't function anymore? Jesus fed the 5000 with a few fish and loaves, and then had the disciples gather the fragments. Because even the fragments were enough to feed a few people... maybe 5? Well, in essence the disciples started out with nothing... then Jesus said to the disciples "you give them something to eat". Is this a cruel joke or what? Um Jesus, I got nothin'!? Nothing to give. Can't feed a hungry crowd. Aint got a crumb. Hmmm but a little boy had a small lunch, and then he shared, and then GOD. God did the multiplying, disciples just had to pass it out, so I'm praying... Jesus multiply me and pass me out to those around me. It would seem there will be enough. Even from the fragments.

Test

2011-01-29T12:53:00.001-08:00

Well this is a test post on my phone

Mt. Lassen

2011-01-27T13:46:00.000-08:00

Goodbye Phoenix

2011-01-27T13:30:00.001-08:00

Yes, it is the time I have been dreaming of. Time to leave Phoenix. In fact, as I write, I am already gone. And no, I don't miss it! There are some lovely people I do indeed miss, but largely for me Phoenix has been what Phoenix is... a desert! And I don't mind leaving! In fact there is serious joy and rejoicing in being called out. You see, God sent me there, so only God can let me leave. Oh Lord I thank you for letting me leave! But, it was so good to go and so much was learned and worked through in it, and that is the goal of my life. To go and do whatever Jesus says so He can work in me, grow me and transform me to be like Him and free down to the very depths of my soul. Freedom doesn't come from doing what I want, or even what I like. Freedom comes by being a slave to Jesus. Gotta love the Paradox. But anyways none of His promises failed, every word we had about going there was fulfilled. There is still some mystery, but I don't expect to understand all that God calls me to here on earth. His plans and purposes prevail, and He knows, and He is good and He is enough! Thankful for a new season! And trees!

Remembering 2010

2011-01-27T11:03:00.000-08:00

A blog of remembrance. Last year began with a trip to Africa for Jeff and a trip on bedrest for me! Getting used to letting people help me was a journey to be traveled the whole year, and help they did. So many people blessed us tremendously last year. Having to put Noah in kindergarten at a wonderful school in Anthem created a sweet avenue of blessing while I was in the hospital and once these tricky babies were born. Have you ever heard of the parents of a kindergarten class bringing meals to the family of one of the students? The teacher and one of the mom's organized it. What a real picture of people loving and serving and being the body of Christ. We were so blessed. 3 weeks in the hospital... in shall we say... purposeful misery... an experience in itself and a joy and rejoicing to be out! The thankfulness of the babies staying in long enough, though they came 6 weeks early, and the thankfulness of being delivered, twin pregnancy is NO JOKE! All intermingled to create interesting growth and challenge and a real sense of gratefulness for all God has given me. Over a month of babies in the hospital, trying to gain a sense of how to juggle all these kids, two surgeries, a complete change in eating lifestyle for the whole family, rejoining the homeschool community and then realizing we are going to sell our house, move and start all over two weeks before Christmas. Not to mention the family drama and trauma that we experienced from extended family this year. All of it should be too much, but in the midst, and in the mist of it... Jesus never left. This was one of the most challenging years of our life and marriage so far, and there has been enough grace, enough peace, enough of Him to sustain and fulfill our hearts needs and longings. Enough to make it through and rejoice. Jesus is enough, and I am glad 2010 is over! Amen!

Wholesome

2010-11-24T20:09:00.000-08:00

This word really describes what my goal is. Wholesome. When you say "health food" people roll their eyes and imagine starvation and rubbery chicken with broccoli. Yum. At least that is what I imagine. Which is why I like describing what I am trying to change to as "real" food and "wholesome" cooking. Because I use lots of real things, not manmade things or man "tampered with" things. People, "they" do some weird stuff to some weird substances and then deodorize it so no one can tell, then sell it, and you and I eat it! That is what I am trying to avoid ;) haha!

Why am I doing this?

2010-11-23T20:36:00.000-08:00

Well, this has been a very hard year on my body. Having twins, and two surgeries (one losing my gallbladder) has sent me on a bit of a quest to transform my eating habits for the long term. I have 5 children and if the Lord allows me to live long I want to be in healthy shape, not just fall apart because I didn't take care of my body. So, I have been trying hard to figure out how to do that and these are some of the conclusions I have come to (everything you read here). I am blogging it because I hope it encourages others to really consider how to make better choices that will affect their longterm health. Your health isn't just about you, but about your family and those who love you and caring for your body in a way that enables you to serve the Lord. (This is notwithstanding circumstances that are out of our control- genetics, accidents, life situations that require extreme strain and drain and do not promote ease of choosing all whole and healthy foods ie. bedrest with twins and 3 kids under 5 running wild! And God has numbered my days, something I cannot change, but eating garbage won't do anything to lengthen my days either!) So, these are a few posts about how I am trying to change my eating for the better, in case anyone wants some ideas.

Apple Pie

2010-11-23T20:17:00.000-08:00

This pie is half healthy... I just used a pre-made crust, he he he... I am still adjusting to such extremes as making my own pie crust!

Thanksgiving

2010-11-23T19:57:00.000-08:00

So, the question is, how can I have thanksgiving... and eat it too? Well, what I mean is most things we usually make are not things I want to eat this year. So I am adjusting some things like this:

One big fat organic turkey,

stuffing would be easy to transform in many ways, using whole grain bread crumbs or whole grain cornbread as a base and some nice organic chicken stock, and then veggies that are usually used don't really need much of a makeover- there is so much you can do with stuffing,

We usually have green bean casserole, but I love greenbeans almondine (sp?) and good quality butter and almonds and I will probably use frozen greenbeans,

rolls- I think I will use one of my recipes and make from scratch probably with spelt or whole wheat pastry flour, real butter (I find it is a matter of deciding I like a heartier bread and enjoying something different is all)

I love yummy sweet potatoes with marshmallows, but this year I will give them a makeover, using fresh sweet potatoes (we usually do canned) and then I think I will slice and roast them this year (coat in olive oil and 100% maple syrup- not too much) and then make a topping with pecans and a little maple syrup

Haven't decided what kind of salad...

Apple Pie for dessert seems a good alternative, one of my friendly new cookbooks has a nice crust recipe using spelt and my food processor slicing the apples (I leave on peel) making it pretty easy and quite yummy....

Well, here goes the Thanksgiving experiment...!

Beauty

2010-11-23T19:43:00.000-08:00

This is too Much Money!

2010-11-23T08:42:00.000-08:00

To eat some of these better quality foods is costing me more! I can't afford to eat these healthier foods they are too expensive! Yes, and NO! This is the reasoning, in giving up processed, pre-packaged foods, I am saving a lot of money. In giving up fast-foods I am saving a lot of money! In avoiding sugar and all refined flours and foods, I am helping my immune system work well and avoiding sickness and doctors, thus saving money on doctor bills, antibiotics, home remedy meds. and so forth. Shoot, with all these savings, I can spend a little more on good quality foods to start with and have some left over! That's the theory anyway ;)

This is too Much work!

2010-11-23T08:37:00.000-08:00

One argument I have heard (and given myself) is that eating like this is too much work! Too hard to cook everything, avoid a microwave, make my own bread... etc. Well, several answers about that for me. One is, it is only hard as I am learning because I have never made so much food from scratch! The more I do it, the easier it is, and really more satisfying and gratifying because I made something myself, and I can feel good about the quality of it that I am feeding my family and myself, adding to our health and making us stronger and healthier to do more and enjoy more in life- which I should really add here is to be able to fully serve the Lord with all of my strength! Something about that makes it much more worth it to me. Also, I have found there are still many good choices out there that are ready made, it also just takes the effort to discover them, hunt them down and choose that instead of what I have been buying. So I have found, it doesn't have to be a lot of work for a long time, just initially as I train myself and get used to it. And get over some of my laziness! In fact almost every night at dinner time I wish for fast-food, pizza, anything that will make itself, but the reality of the unhealthy quality of that convicts me now, and so I think hard, ask the Lord for HELP and find something to make. It is getting easier.

Man Doesn't live by Bread Alone

2010-11-23T08:19:00.000-08:00

All my health food eating by itself, really could matter less. But there are some underlying principles of why it does matter. But also, what matters more.

Deuteronomy 8:3
And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word[1] that comes from the mouth of the Lord.

Truly, what sustains and satisfies is the Living God. Knowing Him and His word. Food is not the focus, but it is a part that needs attention. God made us to eat to live, not to live to eat! Our bodies are a stewardship, it is my conviction therefore to change how I eat to get the most out of this temple He has given me, to the best of my ability. It is in His control, but He does give us choices to make, some of which are better than others.

So, this is a blog about my healthfood experiment, because I know quite a few people who are looking for a change too, I decided to write about what I am learning and trying out, some of which are miserable failures (veggie cheese?!). And some of which are becoming sustainable habits.

The goal is to eat naturally and healthfully, foods that have been around for most of history and to avoid the foods that are industrially processed coming out in the last century or so. This is not an all or nothing, this is just something to aim at and experiment with. I want to see what, if anything really makes a difference. So, here we go!

mYsTeRy

2010-11-19T13:15:00.000-08:00

God likes a good mystery I think. I mean for me... He likes to create them, cliff hangers you know... the ones where you just have no idea how they are going to turn out, they have twists and turns, the unexpected, the unpredictable and then hopefully a resolve! I am getting hints, clues, and impressions, and I have no idea how this story will turn out...the unfolding of my life... I will definitely write a blog when it does... alas... back to the mystery.

The battle is raging

2010-11-16T15:16:00.000-08:00

No vision, no purpose and no challenging pursuits, including lacking the pursuit of God, complacency and no need to sacrifice or suffer seems to be the cause of many taking off in pursuit of sin. It seems we are made for passion, some type of challenge or zeal or meaningful purpose and task, and when it is absent, we flounder for meaning, and often pick up the wrong things to fill the void. The sin that gives the thrill, the temporary comfort or relief from our mundane and meaningless existence. What is the answer? It seems a well kept secret that to follow hard after God and do hard things for Him and in His name is the source of our fulfillment. Not works, but fulfilled passion by His passion for us, His longing and desire for us and our passion poured out toward Him in obedience, zealous to run after Him and do anything He wants us to. To be thrown from our comfort zone into real and deep fellowship with Him, fighting the good fight, not a passive existence, is to find meaning. Think about it, David fell when he decided to take his ease and not go into battle with the fighting men, his men. When he was not engaged in the warfare, he became weak and lazy and gave in to a choice that ruined the rest of his life in a very real way. When we are not engaging in the Lord's battle, but taking our ease, we are a sitting duck for the enemy. A good reason to pursue the Lord with diligence.

Thankful

2010-11-11T08:28:00.000-08:00

It is finally here, cold weather. Delightful smells, comforting coffees, small children who bubble with delight, and bounce around the house with depths of energy unknown... where do they get it? Some excitement in the air, evenings of cozy comfort enjoyed together. Reading stories, robes, slippers, snugly bunnies (stuffed variety) and fluffy blankets. Comfy cozy. And the dilemma is today to enjoy it all and overlook the imperfections...dishes in the sink? Crying babies? Dinner so healthy no one will eat it? Poor starving husband and children? Barfing kids? You just gotta love it! And be thankful!

Derailed

2010-11-08T17:58:00.000-08:00

Today was a myriad of interruptions. My how maddening that can be. A day of frustrations, endless attempts to create order and meaning and how they all landslide amongst each other and crash over my head. Buried in them now. Such interesting options in the midst of the fray. Raging is of course one of them, this includes screaming, venting, and other unbecoming behaviors. Not a good choice. I can only think of the extremes right now, and the other extreme seems to be accepting them, and rolling down the rivers of chaos embracing what could be fun and meaningful in the mix, even though my plans are derailed, this is my life, how shall I live it? Embracing, enjoying, contemplating, laughing and praying. I mean my alternative is to reject, be miserable, resort to escapism, be angry and run from God. That never works out real well. So today was a derailing of my purpose, a frustration of my plans, and an exhaustion of my resources. God in the midst, and a thankful heart.

Knock Knock

2010-11-06T09:48:00.001-07:00

I also like the thought of doorposts and gates, because they are entry points. They symbolize what we will let enter our homes, and more symbolically our lives, thoughts and hearts. And the command to the Israelites was to have His word in their faces as they walked around and in and out of their houses, constant reminders of His truths, and we need to do the same. Constantly filled with His word, that we might know which thoughts and ideas to enter our homes, our hearts and our lives, a gateway can also bar entrance to a place and be a source of protection for a home. Only those who are welcome enter there, and all others are left outside. May we learn to bar entrance to the thoughts of the world and the enemy to our hearts and lives.

New Name

2010-11-06T09:40:00.000-07:00

I decided to change my blog name, I like my old one too, maybe I'll switch back, but for now I wanted it to remind me of my current commission. I am on a mission. To impart truth and discipleship to my children. My blog is my modern day doorpost and gate, a place to write the truths the Lord is showing to me, a place to communicate them, and reinforce them to myself, and remind myself to be sharing them with my children as we walk along the way.

Think Truth

2010-11-03T19:38:00.001-07:00

Lately I have undertaken to re-train or reprogram myself if you will, in the category of food. I have attempted to take all of the things that I think I like and replace them with something healthy. I have tried to take all of the habits that I maintain out of good old fashioned ritual and comfort and retrain myself to decide that I like other things instead. I have decided that many of the things that I liked, sugar, refined flour products, etc. that have made up a large part of my diet... oops.... are ruining my health slowly but surely without my even knowing. The first victim was my gallbladder. Which showed me very unhealthy things were going on inside my body, without my even knowing. Thus my new obsession with whole healthy foods. Which leads me to this blog... it has such interesting implications for my spiritual life. I had to change I to change how I thought to change what I do. I have been feeding my brain all the information I can find on why I should dislike all the things I have previously liked... all the insidious, evil characteristics of sugar and so forth, so that I will despise it and not want it anymore! I have been also reading with gusto all the information and recipes I can find about what things are healthy and what foods will actually provide my body with nutrients and living enzymes that restore and replenish cells and help our bodies function as they were designed. All the positive benefits of such foods and ways of eating, and slowly, new habits have replaced old. Yet, a taste of sugar and I am back down the old paths of habitual eating formed from years of living and creating traditions in my head that say "this is what you like". So I redouble efforts to remind myself why I DO NOT want to go back to those foods and eating patterns and seek after something that is delicious and healthy for me (and I don't mean freak diet food but real food God made- not man!) and remind myself what I have read and so on. So why am I blogging this? Because in thinking about what I have done retraining myself in foods I have seen a clear picture of how God asks us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:1-2).
You see we have a lot of junk food patterns of living and thinking in our life (the carnal man) and we often struggle with how to not act the ways we and our society have taught us to respond, and yet Jesus asks us to be different. Commands us to obey Him. No junk food words out of my mouth, no junk food thoughts of lust in my head, and yet we go on in our same patterns of comfortable behavior never changing, never growing past it on to obedience in Christ. Why? Well, in order to change what foods I like and to train myself to hate them, I read obsessively the truth about them. To discover what foods I should love and create habits of eating, I read obsessively the truth about them and tried them out! Interestingly two things about this transfer well, 1- truth and 2- obsession. So I have a sin that I am struggling with constantly, the problem is I probably don't know the TRUTH about it. So I need to read God's word obsessively with a passion, at every opportunity to change how I think about that thing to how GOD thinks about it. That is the obsession part, we need to passionately be consumed with desiring to know Jesus more, to know Him, His love, His thoughts, His ways, His heart, because in this holy obsession, the Holy Spirit transforms us... the more we seek after Him, the more we abide in His word, the more our old ways and nature are "put off" and His ways and nature are "put on". An all consuming passion for Jesus will be the thing that causes us to give up our junk food ways of life and consume all the wholeness, healing and satisfying delight in His presence that fulfills all of our needs. Taste and see that the Lord is good!

Freewill

2010-10-25T09:05:00.000-07:00

Dear unsuspecting blog readers, for a while now, you have had my marvelous blogging delivered (unwanted? haha) to your email box, well, no more. To read my delightful (dreadful?) ramblings, you have to go to my blog yourself and sign up to be a follower. I shall no more force my readings upon you ;). This shall be the last and you shall ever more have to inflict them upon yourself if you so desire, as I will no longer inflict them upon you ;). Much love,
Shauna
(you can go to my actual blog to sign up at the link on the bottom of this email)

Forgiving

2010-10-11T20:37:00.000-07:00

An interesting thought. What if God forgives me the same way I forgive others? There is some truth to that idea Matthew 18, though not the exact idea. But what if... let's see, how do I forgive... slowly, partially? with restrictions, limitations and small print? vengefully? not at all? upon completion of all required penance and suffering to be inflicted at my discretion and desire? hmmm let my husband fill in this blank? nope, this is my blog! Well, I was wondering what to do about forgiveness and then I needed some... and then I was wondering, what kind of forgiveness do I want God to give me? See requirements above... um, no thanks? Quick, painless, complete and not bringing it up again later! Speaking words of love, comfort and kindness to me, the one who has done Him wrong? That is forgiveness. At least that is the kind I want. Guess I better give it...

Calm in the eye of the storm

2010-10-11T19:19:00.000-07:00

It seems so much about life can easily steal my peace. Distractions, screaming children, dishes, sin, my own and others, stresses of life and work and ministry and family and relationships and on and on on on on on on and on!!!! But He Himself is our peace. My sweet husband said it when he taught the other day... abiding in Jesus. Making my home in Him, resting my heart and head in Him, keeps my peace, continually acknowledging Him through my day keeps my peace, because He knows! And He has the supply of all that I need, and the strength to carry me on through the day, the fight against all that would steal me from Him and dwelling in delight of Him. Time to repent and restore the peace. Fixing my eyes on Him not on the madness swirling around me, tempting me to drink of it and be drunk with its bitter poison, He keeps it at bay and I rest in the calm inside the eye of the storm. Listen to this, "The eye is a region of mostly calm weather found at the center of strong tropical cyclones. The eye of a storm is a roughly circular area and typically 30–65 km (20–40 miles) in diameter. It is surrounded by the eyewall, a ring of towering thunderstorms where the most severe weather of a cyclone occurs. (wikipedia- eye of the storm)" What a picture for us, the most severe weather occurs right outside the eye of a storm, and yet in the very center, is nearly complete peace and sunny weather! Is there a raging mad storm surrounding you? Hide in the center of His will, under His watchful eye, and remain there and find His perfect peace. Lovely! Don't give way, don't give place to the enemy, don't let him in, and you will keep your peace in Jesus. Reminds me of another story, Jesus asleep on a boat, in the middle of a storm. Disciples freaking out, "LORD, we are perishing!!!" But He said, to the storm, be still. And said to them, you of little faith, why did you doubt? Why did He say that? It was a crazy storm, the boat filling up, naturally you could assume, we are going to drown! But earlier he said to them, (Mark 4) Let us go across to the other side. He could rebuke their lack of faith because He had already told them what would happen, despite the storm. They were going to make it and go with Him to the place He had told them. They just didn't believe Him. Believe God in your storm. He was with them, and He spoke calm into the midst of their storm. When God is in the midst of your storm, you can have calm, you just need to believe what He says. Tell that devil to "take a walk", Jesus is in your boat.

And one more thing

2010-10-11T19:03:00.000-07:00

And one more thing, I had forgotten something very important. My sin. Oh yeah, I need forgiveness too, what was I thinking? Hmmm well I was busy focused on their sin , and my pain. And I forgot that my sin is against God, as is theirs. And He is the great justifier and grace extender. Aren't I glad? And unless I forgive I won't be forgiven. And since I desperately need forgiveness.... mercy.... grace... I guess I better give it. Jesus said so.
And then I found this verse too... Luke 17:3 Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.
That is sort of short and sweet, eh? Let's keep it that way, no need to add our own addendum to the plan!

p.s.
(by the way, "you*" shouldn't assume you know who I am talking about, because actually I am sure you don't- he he he- gotta love a good mystery...)

*whoever you are ;)

One way

2010-10-10T09:20:00.000-07:00

I tried to find another way. I thought of my own plans and means to deal with the situation, but came up empty. Because all of my ways cause me harm as well... my means don't deal with the situation, but inflict more damage, causing the opposite of my desire. I found only one way to deal with the situation in which my peace is left in tact. Forgive. Strange, but that is the only way.
I had another thought this morning, one of my favorite songs says "it might be today I look into Your eyes, it might be today I see your face, it might be today you place your wounded hands on my tear stained face...it might be today." He knows the cost of the forgiveness, He knows the pain, and He keeps my tears in a bottle... even the ones that I haven't cried because they are locked inside my heart.
Another thought that motivates right actions, I will stand before Him and give an account of my life. My words, my actions, my thoughts, all is laid open before Him. Not judgment unto condemnation, because Jesus paid for those sins, but judgment unto reward, or not! It says in 1 Cor. 3:11-15 that our works will be tested by fire, and anything not to His glory will be burned up, but we ourselves saved. A beggar on the streets of heaven? The shack on the corner of the golden streets because I lived for myself and acted on my anger and bitterness, or let it come in and rule me. Ok don't quote my theology here, I don't know about shacks in heaven ;) but I do know there is some serious eternal significance here. Like all of my life needs to be totally given unto Jesus for all of His glory. He knows, He's got the details and He will take care of injustice. I am not responsible for everyone else, just for myself and my obedience to my King. A place of peace.

Beauty in season

2010-10-09T10:58:00.000-07:00

Beauty rises out of Ashes, but only God can do that. Takes the broken, the ugly, the destroyed and makes something beautiful out of it. Only God can make a desert bloom, make a stream in its midst to refresh His people. Sustain them in the midst of burning sand. Only God. Only God can take a sin ridden, wounded heart, and heal and make it whole and completely new. He washes away shame, sitting in His presence somehow He heals. I don't know how, I just know it has happened to me over and over. I get broken, wounded, damaged, living in this world among sinners (including myself!) and there is a fountain to go to, the blood poured out, the refreshing streams of grace, to go for a swim, to sit before Him and be loved. To just receive what He has done. I believe it, and He has changed me. A fountain that never runs dry, so run to Him! Taste and see, the Lord is good!

As for me and my house

2010-10-01T12:33:00.001-07:00

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord...
we won't be caught up, tossed up, or dragged down by
bitterness, anger, unforgiveness or gossip. Slander won't live
at our house. Complaining isn't going to hang out. I'm not
going to partner with complaining, words that wound, bitter
envy, strife or dissension. I am not taking sides, fighting back or
retaliating to avenge myself. It isn't going to happen.
I am going to walk in peace, I will forgive, I will
rest in, Hang on to and trust the Lord. I can have joy, rejoicing,
delight and be fulfilled not based on my circumstances or what any one
says about me, does to or for me, or against me. Jesus is enough, He
will take my burdens, carry my cares, and cleanse my wicked heart that needs Him so.
He is our peace, our refuge, our shelter, a strong tower, our defense, our
deliverer, our Father, our Lover, our Strong Savior, and nothing the
enemy throws at me can change that. All I have to do is surrender everything
and throw myself on Him. I won't let my sin keep me from God, I will repent,
cast it on Him, and believe Him to cleanse it white as snow. I won't try to live my
own way, with my thoughts, my ideas and my plans. I am His and he is mine,
He is in control and a half hearted acknowledgment is not enough. I will swim in
the ocean of His love, it is there for the taking, as for me and my house, we WILL serve the LORD!

Dwelling in Delight

2010-09-15T11:53:00.000-07:00

Recently reminded to think of all there is to enjoy and be thankful for and delighted in, so caught up in the present and chaos, forget to see the beauty, experience what IS so good all around me. Have you found yourself letting life pass you by while you stew and fret over things out of your control? What about what you do have? What about what is good? WHY let what isn't good ruin what is? That seems dumb... so I will practice being thankful....
Fall is here... and God gave me trees that actually lose their leaves in my yard
giggling babies
cute squishy toddler noses
toddler kisses and hugs
evenings of stories and conversation
good coffee
finally enjoying my food and not feeling guilty
yummy candles and fall smells
actually baking things...even if no one likes them
getting to homeschool
healthy peanut butter and chocolate ice cream!! (for real!)
putting to bed my toddlers once they are still and quiet and snuggly
funny cat full of tricks
watching Elly bug take dance lessons and stand arms crossed and giant frown half the class!
popcorn and Andy Griffith show
Bible reading plan read to me on my computer daily! YESSSS!
A clean house, that cleans itself... with a little help ;)
swimming in a glittering pool with a perfectly warm evening
someone else feeding the babies
drives to interesting places with my darling husband
my darling husband (these are of course, not in order of importance)
fish, frogs and lizards
endless starwars talk from my darling boy
evening story drives for imaginary adventures and ease of bedtime madness (and maybe icecream)
desert skies
fun grandparents nearby
fun grandparents far away... wish they were near too..... boo hoooooo
fun sister fun fun fun!!!!!!!!!!
I should go on... but I should also go see where the kids went.... :)

End Times!

2010-09-05T10:28:00.000-07:00

All right so if the end of the world is here, Jesus is coming back now, what am I supposed to do? Freak out? Go hide in the woods? ha ha I am moving to Millville, but it has nothing to do with that!) Nope. The only thing end times prophecy should cause me to do is to more fervently seek after Jesus to be found knowing Him and obeying Him in every area of my life. It should give me more desire to share Jesus with others, and a serious desire to surrender any areas of sin in my life, and really get real with God if it does anything. If it produces fear, alarmist, worry mentality, it is not from God. That contradicts his word and what He has told us to do. The Thessalonians got a rebuke from Paul for quitting their jobs and hiding out in fear, probably stock-piling supplies with doom and gloom theology, because they thought the Lord was coming back any time soon. Which, the word says He is, and yet, our response is to be one of going on the offensive for Jesus even more, not hiding out on the defensive. That is never God. He hasn't given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. And He said we'd be persecuted. That's part of the deal. So when we are, what do we do? Wonder why people hate Christians? No, love our enemies, do good to those who hate you and spitefully use you. Bless those who curse you, that is what Jesus said. And that isn't just end times theology. That is regular walking with Jesus. gee I love blogging... my own personal soap box, hahahha, and lucky for you, if you don't like it, you just close the page!!!!
shauna :)

spiritual authority

2010-09-05T10:16:00.000-07:00

August you have been crazy! Noah school, no gallbladder, no more junk food, house for sale, vision come, vision gone, trusting without seeing, elisha party, elisha leaves, decide to homeschool, two babies, sick kids. Did I mention crazy family? Oh lets not. Crazy, crazy! The word in it all is spiritual authority. I have been contemplating what this means for at least a month, and not really getting what it means, but God keeps repeating himself... I must be deaf! I got a hint lately though, Christ in me. Greater is he who is in you than he who is in the world. God is bigger than satan, and His spirit dwells in me. His power is greater, I am under His authority and so I have authority. That means when life throws crap at me, I don't have to go under it. I don't have to sink in the mire, be embittered by bitter people throwing poison at me. I can have joy in Jesus. I don't have to despair, I have hope IN JESUS. I don't have to worry or fear or doubt, I just have to place my trust in Jesus who has me in His hands. I don't even have to see how it's all going to work out. I can have peace that passes understanding when I just commit myself and all that concerns me to His hands. Everyone around me can freak out, and I can have peace if I stay in His presence, just abiding, keeping my eyes on Him and His promises. It's the storm raging around, but Jesus is in the boat, me of little faith, why should I doubt? No this isn't based on my happiness or comfort, but I can have His peace without those, and it's often better. A good place to rest is in the shadow of His wings, I had run out on my own for a bit though, lost my mind and His too, realized I wasn't seeking Him in His word and talking to Him. No wonder I was losing it... He is my sanity!

Joy

2010-08-11T10:59:00.000-07:00

Why hello blog, it's been a while. Don't you just love when you really don't have a clue what God is doing. Well, here I am and I just don't know all the answers! Darn it. Oh well, hmmm I guess this is where that trusting God stuff comes in. It really is funny to have peace and rest when the fog around you is quite thick and you don't know where you are. It is lovely because I know I will never miss Him, never miss what He has for me, never mess up His plan for my life (ha ha I am not sure you can... but sin can sure take you on some very stupid detours...hmmm, another blog...) if I am just seeking His face, seeking Him daily, because if you want to be in God's will He has already told us clearly what it is... to give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:18), our sanctification (1 Thess. 4:3) by doing good to silence the foolish and ignorant(1 Peter 2:15- you have to read that one in context to get a clearer understanding of it). All these things remain the point, not where I am or where I am going, or what is going to happen, but who am I following? Jesus? Drawing nearer, always nearer, full of His peace and joy. He is the only place of rest and joy. That's is where I want to be found. Hanging out with Jesus, everything else is just details... and He will take care of those too.

suprised by love

2010-07-27T20:35:00.001-07:00

Lately I was surprised. I had a word from the Lord from about 2 years ago that I had been thinking of, looking at and expecting Him to fulfill, and all along I thought that it had to do with what I could do for Him, and how I would accomplish something for Him, and out of nowhere He revealed that it was actually about what He would do for me. Did you ever find yourself thinking God wanted something from you, to use you, do something for Him, and then realize instead He desires to pour out His love and care and concern on you for your sake? I heard a quote recently that said "the greatest servants are lovers" regarding God, the more we know His love, the more we desire to do anything He wants us to. It is when we think God wants something from us and we never receive His passionate love for us that we just don't want anything to do with Him and avoid Him like the mob. He who is forgiven much, loves much, when you know the love He poured out on the cross to remove forever all our perverse wickedness against Him, how you run to His feet and long for more of that love. How we would serve if we really loved!

Re-read the last one

2010-06-30T15:59:00.000-07:00

added an important note to the end of the last post--
BURN the paper and leave the issues with Jesus!

Are you Free

2010-06-30T10:39:00.000-07:00

It is for freedom Christ has set us free, and yet how do we know if we are living free?
I think we mostly just know. Lack of peace, anxiety and stress characterizing most of our thoughts, fears and worries causing gloom and doom. Bitterness and anger filling our quiet thoughts. Maybe we should first identify what keeps us in bondage. Hmmm big topic. I guess we can narrow it down to sin, and sin against us that we have never properly dealt with. Like Jesus taught His disciples to pray "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. The sins we have done and sins others have committed against us will keep us in bondage unless we repent and also forgive. Here's my latest suggestion:
1. go somewhere you can be alone with Jesus
2. take paper and a bible and a concordance if you have one (but paper and Bible will do)
3. write down every issue you can think of that still consistently bothers you,( ie, stories you retell to friends and family often with a bitter tone, things you repeatedly go over and over in your mind that you relive and rehash, issues and circumstances/events where you were wounded, hurt, treated unjustly or times where you have blatantly sinned and repeatedly beat yourself up over (or maybe you have justified your sin) are all good indicators that these things have not been properly dealt with or released to Jesus).
4. walk through each thing you wrote down with the Lord, pour out your heart about it to Him, tell Him how you felt, cry about it, tell Him about it,
5. ask Him what He has to say about it, seek His heart on the matter, get a concordance, look up the words related to it in His word,
6. give each one over to the Lord, after you have poured out your heart about it to Him, hand it over to Him, entrust it to Him, whether believing Him to cover your sin and wash and free you from it's hold on you by His Blood, or receiving healing and His love and covering for another's sin against you.
7. Write down and keep available, maybe even memorize truth concerning the things you have given over to Jesus. His word is truth and we need His truth to replace the lies in our heart, especially if it has been a long standing issue that we have never dealt with.
8. Worship Him! Praise Him! Thank Him, receive His healing, His power and His truth by faith, walk in it.
We do not have to be slaves to sin no matter how long it has held us in its grasp. If we have yielded our lives to Jesus, we have an inheritance of freedom, freedom from sin, fear, anxiety, bitterness, anger, every other poison thing that grieves God's spirit and and quenches Him out of our lives, giving satan footholds and inroads to oppress us and strangle out the joy, peace and presence of God in our lives. Sometimes we need to continuously choose to pour our hearts out toward the Lord about an issue until we have reallly worked all the way through it with the Lord. It is having a continuous time of letting God search our heart and giving over every issue as He reveals it to us. It is for freedom that Christ has set us free, don't let satan keep you from it!

* side note, somethings that keep us in bondage are not sin directly, but we allow ourselves to fear, worry, etc. etc. and not trust the Lord or take all these things to Him and our response of lack of faith and lack of obedience to Jesus becomes sin, so a good idea, cast ALL of your cares on Him, for He cares for you....

** oh yeah!! and BURN or very intentionally THROW AWAY THAT PAPER!!! don't leave it around for the offending party to find... that is not a good idea, and further more, disposing of it is a symbolic way to really consciously surrender your hold on those things and leave them at the feet of Jesus where HE can take care of them!

thinking again.....Shauna

My little strawberries!

2010-06-09T11:22:00.000-07:00

More Honor

2010-06-07T10:06:00.000-07:00

Ok well suffice it to say, "I love Jeff! He is awesome" I think I shall post it everywhere.... :)

Beautiful Blog

2010-06-07T08:34:00.001-07:00

I just can't stand it, I love this woman's blog. Everyone should read it, she is so darn awesome! Love it, love it, love it!!! She writes so beautifully it is just awesome.

http://beautyandjoy.blogspot.com/

Hawaii in my backyard

2010-06-07T08:26:00.000-07:00

Honor

2010-06-06T19:49:00.000-07:00

I have a blog brewing... on honor. I keep thinking about it, but it is vague and unrefined. Something to do with honor. It keeps coming up... verses, thoughts, the unit I plan to do with my son this summer... on and on. Oh yeah, maybe an obscure passage of scripture Jeff shared with me had to do with it too. Everywhere. Honor. I have a sneaking suspicion it's important. Yet I don't really feel like dealing with it. The roots are far reaching. Into the core of every important relationship: parents, spouse, God. And it would seem that in implementing honor, might come before a few other things that I tend to place above it.

For instance, (this is the one really bugging me) child/husband dilemas. Oh yes, this is the fun one. It seems I am to submit my husband, and it seems at the core of this is showing him respect, or honoring him. A large part of that is being respectful in my behavior towards him in front of others. Honoring him, not questioning him, pointing out his faults, arguing with him or otherwise disrespecting him. Now, here is what I am pondering. Others includes our children. I need to honor my husband before my children (that is in front of them, but also placing him as a priority over them). Here is the vast revelation (so maybe I am an idiot, sorry!) what if honoring my husband in front of my children is the most important thing. What if. What if when my opinion differs (it often...always? does) that it would be more important for me to honor my husband and his authority, rather than express my opinion or demand my way (of course only for the safety and welfare of my children! ha).

Now I am talking about the way I do it. It is usually over something petty which I feel strongly about, but I make a big fuss about not doing it his way. What if it's bed time? Meal time, how they dress, how they act, how we discipline, what we allow them to do, watch, etc. etc. What if it is a detrimental decision in my opinion? Shouldn't I then throw myself into a dramatic tirade on my selfrighteous crusade because I know the right answer and after all, has he read any of the billions of parenting books?? Uh no! Here's how it goes... child having certain issue, daddy handling it one way, mommy interrupting with criticism, sarcasm or argument of why how he is handling this is inappropriate. Ugly. That's not always how it goes, because I have learned a few things about disrespect, and do try to avoid such, because my husband (God bless him!) is honorable! But what if he isn't or his decision does suck, or he is handling it the wrong way? What if honoring him would be a more powerful lesson to my kids, more glorifying to God and more transformational to the situation than me making sure (out loud and in front of others, especially my kids) that he does it the "right way" or does not make the mistake of which I am afraid?

So I have this thought, that perhaps to honor him as God intends, would essentially be to trust God and ummmm.... be humble! Doesn't most of my arguing and such stem from fear or pride? (yeah, it does!) Humble myself, what does it look like? How does it go? Child having certain issue, Daddy handling it one way, Mommy stand by and pray (especially if I don't like it) and support his decision, his take on it (and if I must, discuss later quietly and non-confrontational with kind tones and attitudes) and leave it to Him. What if, honor matters more. I'm still thinking...

Choose Life

2010-05-22T14:27:00.000-07:00

It is interesting. I have encountered just this week several examples of the choices we can make and the roads we can find ourselves down. It's like Deuteronomy, choice of life, choice of death, choose the blessing or the curse...

11 “For this commandment that I command you today is not too hard for you, neither is it far off. 12 It is not in heaven, that you should say, ‘Who will ascend to heaven for us and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?’ 13 Neither is it beyond the sea, that you should say, ‘Who will go over the sea for us and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?’ 14 But the word is very near you. It is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it.

15 “See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil. 16 If you obey the commandments of the Lord your God [1] that I command you today, by loving the Lord your God, by walking in his ways, and by keeping his commandments and his statutes and his rules, [2] then you shall live and multiply, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land that you are entering to take possession of it. 17 But if your heart turns away, and you will not hear, but are drawn away to worship other gods and serve them, 18 I declare to you today, that you shall surely perish. You shall not live long in the land that you are going over the Jordan to enter and possess. 19 I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live, 20 loving the Lord your God, obeying his voice and holding fast to him, for he is your life and length of days, that you may dwell in the land that the Lord swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them.”

That is the thing also, it isn't too hard, and everyone has the option available to them.

This week I saw the example of a lovely lady who lived well. She chose Christ, and she went home to be with Him. It makes you weep, but it makes you rejoice because you just KNOW she lived fully for her Lord, that leaves no shame, no regrets, no grieving by her family because they doubt where she is now due to the way she lived. No, they have confidence because it was obvious that she chose life and blessing and she left a legacy of beauty and joy to her husband and her children. They really can rise up and call her blessed even in their sorrow there is comfort because of her choices.

I have also thought this week on various friends who started well, and have been utterly sideswiped by satan. They are still here on earth, and yet at the end of their days, what weeping and grief and sorrow they have caused spouses and children by their destructive, selfish choices. They chose death and evil, and everyone reaps the consequences. Themselves included.

At the end of my days may I leave a legacy of beauty, of faithfulness to Jesus and confidence for those who knew me that I chose Jesus.

I heard a quote the other day about how you die well, by living well each day. I like that, it isn't waiting for life to get easier or less messy so then I can obey Jesus, it is just about following Him daily through my chaos! (and perhaps He will provide some order ;)

Garden variety bitterness

2010-05-13T10:47:00.000-07:00

Do I have anything to post? Not really, not very profound today, 2-3 hours of broken sleep, mmmm I am more of a mushmellow :) yes, I meant to spell it that way. Sufficient grace for the day. It seems that way, always just enough... not excess, but enough. My daughter is eating ketchup on bread. Is that a sandwich? And refilling the ketchup when it runs out... hmmm.

Here is my spiritual lesson from the garden... better to pull the weeds immediately upon recognition, rather than wait and let them grow a while... much less work! Now, maybe that is why Hebrews 12:14-15 talks about not missing the grace of God by letting a bitter root grow up. It seems when you let weeds and bitterness grow they both have a way of digging in deep! And causing unwanted destruction as well! And oh my they are hard to get rid of, you can pull them up but it seems they are always leaving bits and pieces of themselves around, you just can't seem to be rid of the whole thing once you let it grow! My advice to myself, don't let it grow, let it GO!

humility

2010-05-08T11:02:00.000-07:00

"But without humility it will not attain to higher things.* You are wanting to grow up into the air without a root. Such is not growth, but a collapse."

Jeff quoting Augustine I think

I want to be a missionary

2010-04-27T08:12:00.000-07:00

It took going to Africa to really figure out what I meant by this. I always said (since high school) that I wanted to be a missionary. But I have found what I really meant by this had more to do with living sold out to God. You see, on various mission trips we experienced God in radical ways, He was near, we saw Him move, we saw people touched by Him, and this appeared to me to be the way to live!! But my mistake was that the only way to experience this was to be a missionary. I have since discovered, that what I experienced on mission trips was regular life as God intended it. Daily life on a mission with Jesus. Living life on purpose with and for Jesus. That is life. The difference was life not on a mission trip was just lived mostly for myself with church thrown in. And the occasional God experience just to shake things up a little. But what I really discovered was that I don't necessarily want to be a missionary (ok I do) but what I do want is that daily radical experience of walking with God, and experiencing Him all the time. And I have also realized that life is found when I am fully surrendered to Him everyday, on His mission, not my own. Now I am trying to discover what a day full of Him looks like with 5 small children dominating my world... I will let you know on that one :) Purposeful life with Jesus every minute. That is my mission. :)

Getting right with God

2010-03-09T07:48:00.000-08:00

God has really used walking prayerfully through these steps for me in a quite radical way- satan doesn't like our freedom or walking close in fellowship with Jesus so expect him to try to keep you from working through these, get alone with Jesus and your Bible and do it!:

REPENT of any sin or agreement with the lies and accusations of the enemy (often we are walking in sin, because we believe what satan says about it, not God, (ie. sin of lust, believing satan has something more exciting than what God has to offer in purity and holiness)
FORGIVE those who have wronged you- release forgiveness to them. Not a feeling, a command, just choose to agree with God. "I release those who have wronged me and hurt me" (not saying their actions, etc. were right, but release them from your grip allowing God to deal with them in justice, not you trying to exact it yourself)
RENOUNCE- speak out that you are no longer in agreement with the lies the enemy has been telling you in the authority of Jesus Christ, in His name those lies no longer have power over you.
RECEIVE- His power, His forgiveness and believe Him for freedom
SHUT DOORS you have opened to the enemy through sin and believing lies- don't stay in bondage to the enemy, consecrate ourselves to Jesus.
claim power, authority and anointing of Christ that is yours as a child of God, search scriptures to know WHO YOU ARE IN HIM. Of ourselves we have nothing, in and through Christ we are victorious and we need to believe the truth that GOD says.

Christ has paid the price for our freedom, His blood is enough!

the view from my bed

2010-03-09T07:29:00.000-08:00

It's not changing. What I see out my window from this side of my bed. I am getting quite familiar with it in fact. I see a tree. A tree that I have mocked since December. My foolish tree so confused by living in the Arizona desert, it decided to lose its leaves and then a few measly weeks later, BLOOM! Yes, in December. I was sure frost would kill it or who knows what happens to a tree that blooms in December? So now, in March I have a big, full, summer tree to look at right outside my window. These are my favorite trees too. I have been thankful for them since we moved in, they are deciduous, not desert trees. A consolation the Lord gave me for moving to the desert, I presumed. Well, now in March it should still be naked and barren for "winter" (you know, when its in the low 60's) but no, my favorite consolation trees are in full bloom (did I mention four out of 6 of them did this, only one can I see from my bed). And now I regret my mockery... because you see I didn't know God was making me a special present. A big green tree to watch blowing majestically in the wind and sparkling in the sunlight... from my bed. Where I have been confined for numerous weeks and weeks to come. A small thankfulness wells up and my heart laughs that God would go to such trouble. Coincidence? Not from one who knows all our days before even one of them has come to pass (Psalm 139). Just for my enjoyment? No just for His praise. Small things to remind He is there, in control and cares.